Wow. I look like a huge dork, don't I?!
Well, at the time, I didn't care. Because I was so excited about my future that nothing else really mattered. I took these pictures right after I found out I got accepted to the LA Film Studies Center in fall 2007. I was so excited because I felt like I was about to take off on this this crazy adventure full of excitement and purpose. It was a great feeling, and it turned out to be just that- one of the most exciting experiences of my life.
And I miss it. I hate to be Debbie Downer, but life has not been very good to me since I've been back. To be honest, I don't feel like I'm in a very good place lately. And mostly, that's because I feel like I have no purpose here. Each day just feels like this monotonous cycle of meaningless tasks. I'm so sick of it.
The sad thing is that I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do to get out of this rut I'm in. It's not that simple. I want to do what God wants me to do but I also want to do something compelling and interesting.... something that I'm passionate about and I can't seem to figure out how those things go together. Maybe I just need to find more passion...... or love God more.... I don't know. All I know is I'm tired of this phase of my life. I know I was made for much more than this but I just don't know what that means. But I really hope I figure it out soon because all this nothingness is sucking the life out of me.
I want to get that incredible feeling of excitement back. I want to feel free to make crazy faces and do ridiculous things just because I'm so glad to be alive.
As you said to me, hang in there. It will come to you. :)
ReplyDeletehaha true true. well thanks. hopefully it really will come to both of us. and the sooner, the better.
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