caught up in the system

so, i'm not off to a good start this week.

i already had to break out the screamo music to vent to as i drove away from campus for lunch.

"It rips me up, spits me out, I’m messed up, in this rut
Caught up in this system, put down as another victim
My fingernails are fading away, and my hair is looking lazy
And that’s okay, yeah, but I think I may go crazy
This time I have don’t feel my own, this life I live feels like a joke
But still I try to take control, still on my own, all alone
Here I go again –go- I lie awake in my car at the park
It’s half past three and I can’t sleep
Looking up at the stars
Looking up at the dark
This time I have don’t feel my own, this life I live feels like a joke
But still I try to take control, still on my own, and all alone
My stereo turns on, trying to ignore you, but I still hear your voice
Everything will be ok, you say
Everything’s going to change, you say
You’re not crazy
It rips me up, spits me out, I’m messed up, in this rut"
("At the Park" - Subseven)

so thats how i feel today. just another victim. i just feel like i'm being forced to live my life a certain way right now, to go against my instincts and my desires and conform to "the system" of our society. its making me crazy. but soon i will be free from all of this and free to live the life i want to live. but not soon enough......

so, i almost stepped on a squirrel today.

i was walking down the sidewalk on campus and suddenly i'm forced to stop in midstep as i see a squirrel standing on the sidewalk right in front of me. i've always known the squirrels on campus were very uninhibited but man! you'd think a squirrel would run away if a person was less than a foot away and about to step on it, but no! this squirrel just stood there, munching away at some food on the sidewalk. haha. whatever little man, its your life!

i am now about to engage in hours of video editing. if i dont shoot myself first. i think i am going to get out a calendar and literally countdown the exact number of days until i graduate and "electronic media production" no longer rules my life! i will be happy if i never have to touch another video camera or editing program again........